Fat Boy Saunter is "On Notice!"

Long ago, in a galaxy far far away, there was this *guy* walking along...
we can call him "Fat Boy Saunter", for that is the title of the post I wrote about him to my neighborhood community chat list.
I will repost it here to explain:

(open letter on the list to the one man I met today)

You probably won't read this, but this is for you...

It's 3:25 and I am sitting at the computer when your dog runs into my gated yard and all over the place.. and you saunter down the street, that leash in your hand, with NO attempt to put a little FAST in your movements, no showing concern that your pit mix is lose inside my yard, or what children might live here, or that you are even doing anything WRONG.

I come out to my porch and ask you if that's yours, and you say yes as you saunter on by, and when I tell you that you better get than animal on a leash and keep it out of my yard, you shrug and look unconcerned, and when I tell you that there are leash laws you say I should mellow out. My mention of cats or kids is unnoticed or just doesn't phase selfish you.

Guess what yahoo boy? You are about 40, overweight, dark skinned and walking in the Broadway Avenue area. You are now on notice that all my neighbors are now aware of you. This is the notice.

Dog owners want to be liked? Well, this kind of selfish "doggie is better than any of my neighbors" attitude by dog owners that are rude and stupid is EXACTLY why us pet lovers (or haters) are so angry about dog walkers. Why we stare at you as you pass (Will they let their precious baby pee all over the plants there? Will I get to SMELL the pee when the weather warms up? Do they really think that their doggie should be allowed to do things that bother humans?), and why we take umbrage at having our PRIVATE yards treated like your rights are above ours.

Most of us have pets too... we just have better manners about how those pets should interact with our neighbors than you do.

My yard is MINE, and from now on, this particular doggie owner is on my shit list. I don't care if it turns out that he is the biggest philanthropist of all time, some brain surgeon that works on disabled children for free, or the next Mayor. This guy- and anyone else that doesn't work HARD at acting like they CARE about my feelings- is not getting any respect from me. The dog loose was rude. The saunter unconcerned was stupid. The ATTITUDE you exhibited was a big old red flag to me and got my *attention*. Most small children know that getting moms NEGATIVE attention is a bad thing.

Your pet is NOT a human, nor it it *your child* (surrogate maybe). It is a trained animal that is going to act exactly as polite as you train it to. It is going to REFLECT your attitudes about yourself and your neighbors, even more than children do.

If your pet is quiet and on a leash, doesn't squat every chance it gets, and is friendly to everyone, you and your pet will be welcomed by many if not most of your neighbors (those not allergic or already gun shy of dogs). If you pet barks and whines when you are gone and makes life a living hell for the people near you who want to hear their OWN televisions and children and phone conversations rather than YOUR dog, well, you will understand why they give you dirty looks and don't call the cops when they see your care get broken into. Human nature tends to be like that. Your pet should leave it's poopies in your yard. It needs to walk for exercise, not to drop markings everywhere. You CAN train it not to- the first step is to NOT SLOW DOWN when it does that... dogs find it very hard to poop when moving.

And to YOU Mister Fat Boy saunter...... I look forward to learning where you live. Your dog didn't have a license on it, and I AM going to turn you in. I cannot change the attitude that your mom and dad instilled, but I can sure get a little bit of joy at your misery over the ticket you get.
You picked the wrong woman on the wrong day to treat like your servant rather than a respected home owner.

Rennaisance....not enough chocolate in the whole WORLD today.

So, after I wrote that, most all of my neighbors wrote me off list supporting, laughing, and generally being sympathetic (except for one jackass, but ya know, there will ALWAYS be that one kid that just hates everyone who is fun).

Then one of my neighbors wrote me and said that my post had pushed "FAT Boy Saunter" to the top of the list....

http://denisvengeance.com/WGOnNotice.jpg

Now THAT IS ENTERTAINMENT!